Archive - The Martti Partti

I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and We’re Way More Evil Than J.D. Vance Says

Learn more about my meowlevolent ways...

Oct 10, 2024 •

August 2024

For All the Bad Ladies! Especially the Olde Ones

I had some thoughts about "postmenopausal females"

Aug 23, 2024 •

September 2023

I'm Appearing at The Ripped Bodice LA September 21st!

Doors open 6:30pm, fun starts at 7!

Sep 18, 2023 •

August 2023

But Why Should I Read Your Stupid New Book, Martti?

First of all — rude.

Aug 17, 2023 •

Dropping 8-15: ATTACK OF THE ROM-COM!

By me. It's my new book yay!

Aug 11, 2023 •

May 2023

Holy Carp, I'm In McSweeney's!

Dream un-freaking-locked

May 9, 2023 •

March 2023

Meet The Shittiest Princess!

“But fulfilling female friendships that don’t revolve around men are forbidden in my line of work,” said Princess Poot.

Mar 1, 2023 •

February 2023

QUIZ: Are You a Modern Badass Woman or Some Weird Medieval Bat Thing?

Read my new piece on The Belladonnas and figure out exactly how the hell many feet you have. Finally!

Feb 21, 2023 •

October 2022

Zombies and Old Lace

a Halloween Story That Moves Very Slowly by Martti Nelson

Oct 19, 2022 •

June 2021

Ted Lasso'ed My Heart, and Might Have Saved It

Yes, I took the easy joke out. Keep reading anyway, why not.

Jun 17, 2021 •

Because your farts will smell like book mites and importance, friends.

I'm doing a book reading on the Zooms tomorrow!

Jun 16, 2021 •

April 2021

I Wrote a Book About Angry Women. On Purpose and Everything.

LYSSA STRATA drops on May 1, 2021. It’s about a sex strike. Gasp!

Apr 27, 2021 •

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