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Holy Carp, I'm In McSweeney's!

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Beautiful, but doesn’t know it. I write comedy for misbehaving women that helps us feel like superheroines! 2 books out, yo. Humor, parody, satire, nonsense | She/Hers
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Holy Carp, I'm In McSweeney's!

Dream un-freaking-locked

Martti Nelson
May 9, 2023
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Holy Carp, I'm In McSweeney's!

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I’m supporting the striking writers of the #WGA with my latest humor piece—IN McSWEENEY’S!—“Excerpts from AI-Written Rom-Coms That Prove Human Writers Are Obsolete.”

excerpt…

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Love Potion Number Whine

GWENDOLYN (squeaking in frustration): But I have given you the Love Potion!

MARY ELLEN: I love this goat.

Mary Ellen holds the goat to her busty bosom.

MARY ELLEN: I ate the love potion and looked at a goat. Now I love this goat.

GWENDOLYN: Oh, what a situation.

Gwendolyn huffs. She holds up the “Love Potion How-To Pamphlet.”

GWENDOLYN: Yes, that is how the Love Potion works.

GOAT: I am honored by your love, Mary Ellen. I have a successful career job on the mountain eating things.

The goat bleats. It sounds like the most orchestra of songs.

GOAT: My name is Joanne, by the way.

MARY ELLEN: It is nice to meet you, Joanne.

Mary Ellen laces up her hiking shoes.

MARY ELLEN: Let us go to the mountain to leap around.

They leave to go to the mountain. Its name is Doug.

GWENDOLYN (pinging longingly): When will I learn not to drug women?

Everyone laughs.

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Holy Carp, I'm In McSweeney's!

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