Holy Carp, I'm In McSweeney's!
Dream un-freaking-locked
I’m supporting the striking writers of the #WGA with my latest humor piece—IN McSWEENEY’S!—“Excerpts from AI-Written Rom-Coms That Prove Human Writers Are Obsolete.”
excerpt…
Love Potion Number Whine
GWENDOLYN (squeaking in frustration): But I have given you the Love Potion!
MARY ELLEN: I love this goat.
Mary Ellen holds the goat to her busty bosom.
MARY ELLEN: I ate the love potion and looked at a goat. Now I love this goat.
GWENDOLYN: Oh, what a situation.
Gwendolyn huffs. She holds up the “Love Potion How-To Pamphlet.”
GWENDOLYN: Yes, that is how the Love Potion works.
GOAT: I am honored by your love, Mary Ellen. I have a successful career job on the mountain eating things.
The goat bleats. It sounds like the most orchestra of songs.
GOAT: My name is Joanne, by the way.
MARY ELLEN: It is nice to meet you, Joanne.
Mary Ellen laces up her hiking shoes.
MARY ELLEN: Let us go to the mountain to leap around.
They leave to go to the mountain. Its name is Doug.
GWENDOLYN (pinging longingly): When will I learn not to drug women?
Everyone laughs.